A Northumbrian Allotment

Comments welcome.

I have managed to get myself well ahead of the game with regards to the website that I have to create in the rest of the academic year - the tutor says I am 10 weeks ahead of myself but this does not allow for sorting out the navigation which is annoying me at present and adding in the Flash requirement to make the site interactive. There apparently has to be some movement. I have posted the work in progress at A Northumbrian Allotment and would be happy to hear from you if you have any comments about the design, look, feel, navigation, pictures. I can't promise that I can take on board and manage to do your suggestions as I am only doing a Level 1 course (the most basic one that gives a certificate) so probably won't have the skills to do anything that is anything like difficult. However - I'm prepared to listen and if I can I will.

This website could have remained on the disk that I submit as part of the coursework for verification but that would be chicken as I already owned a domain name from previous days - no don't ask, I have no idea why I still have one. I have no idea why I bought it in the first place or what I thought that I could do with it - obviously there has never been any money in it. However it has turned out to be a useful investment for this present course and allows me to do a little bit more than if I had just been creating something in a dark corner that would never see the public light of day.

The week has seen the end of the course on the use of MS Publisher. We now have to wait for the marking and assessing and verifying of our folders and final project. This will see if we actually get a certificate! But I can now use Publisher which was the whole point of going to classes. The tutor says not to hold our breath and expect the marking to be done any time soon as he has to sign things off page by page for each one of us as well as filling in a whole lot of forms to be added to the folder and then submitting them for internal and external verification. So much for the old fashioned way of sending off your examination papers and getting the marks back in about 8 weeks. Am I too old or does anyone else remember the marking for O level and A level GCEs in the "old days"?

Gone are the days when you studied, practiced and did an examination at the end of the course. Nowadays you have to produce paperwork to describe how you came up with your ideas and why you did what you did. You can't say I did it to get the certificate either. Do you think Leonardo Di Vinci or Constable had to write down how they came to the point of doing some of their famous paintings? No doubt they did lots of doodles to plan what they were going to do - but can you see them saying "Well the person paying said I had to paint this and they wanted it to look like this and it had to be done this way" and then writing down every stage of the process to justify themselves in case someone decided not to pay them? I think not. However to keep in line with the course I had to explain where I found ideas for Christmas cards and "In my head" was not the answer needed.

My children tell me that all courses are the same nowadays and to get workplace qualifications you have to jump through the same hoops. I suppose that the grandchildren will grow up quite used to this way of thinking. But it does seem to be a how lot of hassle to get a Level 1 qualification ...

Oh - I ought to add that I am not in the same class as Leonardo or Constable and it would have done no good if I had that sort of talent anyway. I am on a different course consolidating what I know of web design using Dreamweaver at a very basic level and there a one young man on the course who designs well above any of the courses that are offered through your average community college campus. He would be able to hold his own doing a degree level course - but I suppose that he has to go through all the stages to get to the point where he has the bits of paper to get himself onto that sort of course.

Why am I the first port of call for a lot of the family when their computers go wrong? Didn't know that was in the specification of a grandmother.

Let's get this right. I didn't grow up using a computer. The grandchildren have done. I didn't grow up using a mobile phone. The grandchildren have done. I didn't grow up using an iPod. The grandchildren have done. I didn't grow up using a television. The grandchildren have done. I didn't grow up with a car on call. The grandchildren have done. I didn't grow up using a games console. The grandchildren have done.

I grew up as a toddler riding a pony. The grandchildren didn't. I grew up riding a bike. The grandchildren didn't. I grew up listening to the radio. The grandchildren didn't. I grew up on a working farm. The grandchildren didn't.  I grew up on one farm that still did a lot of work using shire horses. The grandchildren didn't. I grew up learning to run a garden with vegetables and flowers. The grandchildren didn't.

So why do they think I can sort out their computers? And how come I quite often do? It should be the other way round.

Think I had better get a job description for a grandmother written down - best write it myself so that it's easy for me to agree with. Are there any other grandmothers out there who can give me some advice?

There are holiday weekends when you are glad that you have visited the library and bought the papers in because the weather is miserable. This weekend has to be one of those.

Yesterday we dropped in at the garden centre which was virtually empty on what they say is usually the busiest weekend of the year. However it was sleeting hard and had been for most of the day. Dropped two blueberry bushes and a rhubarb crown growing in a pot into the shelter of the cold frame on the allotment.

It was the only day that the daughter could take me to the garden centre and deliver the goods to the allotment so we had to brave the wind and weather. (She drives, owns a car and has a job and I have to fit in round the job and family if I need a chauffeur.)

Put out some bird food whilst we were there. The ground is now sodden again - and it was drying so nicely at start of week. It only needed a couple of warm days and I could have started planting out but winter returned.  Anyway we then went off to see "The Other Boleyn Girl" in the warmth of a local cinema after a flying visit to the outside world.

Tomorrow I might paint round the new rear door where the plaster had to be replaced. If I can find a paint brush and if the will is still there in the morning. There is also some touching up required where the wall is marked from an old set of step ladders. As the weather promises to be snow showers again there will be no painting of the outside back doorstep which also now needs doing. And after that there is some ironing to do.

Now some of the following appeal to me - some of them would certainly liven up a boring job

At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it 'in.'
Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
In each of your cheque stub sections, write ' for smuggling diamonds'.
Finish all your sentences with' in accordance with the prophecy.'
Don’t use any punctuation.
As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
Order diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
Specify that your drive-through order is 'to go.'
Sing along at the opera.
Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme?
Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, rock bottom.
When the money comes out the cash machine, scream 'I won! I won!'
When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling 'run for your lives, they're loose!!'
Tell your children over dinner 'due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.'

The larger picture shows the plaster on Madam Cat's leg better!

Son and his wife have the two crazy cats Moggy (male) and Miezie (female - the name is German for Moggy). Now that they are old enough and have had  all the injections, the pair of rascals have been allowed out into the rear garden of the flat where they live. Ah but these are not exactly sensible cats and went to "play with a local dog in its garden and got chased back. Well Moggy did and came in with a hairline fracture which required a small splint. But Mieze came back well battered and bruised with a dislocated and broken leg. This required a week at the vet's hospital and a big splint for at least another two and a half weeks.

This is all on top of son being up to his eyes in revision for a difficult examination for his paramedic qualification and his wife having been away for a week with a major art sale in Dubai as part of her work (she works for Bonhams in London). Such a hard life!

Italian Pasta Diet - it really works!!

1. You walka pasta da bakery.

2. You walka pasta da sweets store.

3. You walka pasta da Ice Cream shop.

4. You walka pasta da pantry and fridge.

You willa losea da weight.

Nice one eh?

All is well - the installation team has been, installed the new door and gone away again. They did have a few problems along with way with a space that was taller at one side than the other, an old frame that didn't want to come off the wall, plaster and mortar that fell off as they looked at it after moving the old door and various other little Friday problems. At least it wasn't the door made on a Monday morning by a new trainee so all problems were solved in the end. Plaster and mortar replaced, cleaning up done properly, the lock works after a tweak and all is well in the world.

The telephone rang just as they were eating the lunchtime sandwiches with a query from the powers that be at the housing association - "you wrote a comment on one of the repairs we did for you". "Yes well it wasn't up to the normal standards of what you do so I merely commented on that. You did leave a space for comments and for the first time in 3 years and 9 months I felt it was called for." Which isn't bad at all considering the number of things that have had to be done in the place to get it into decent shape.

Today I won't ask for a transfer as the place is in good order with only a small area of painting required (that's been sort of needed since the day I moved in 3 years and 9 months ago today). Right I'm going to get organised and go off down the allotment for an inspection.

I'm told that the company touting for the doors business with the housing association in charge of my flat is going to appear and install the new double glazed back door on Friday morning between 08.30am and 9.30am.

Oh joy as this is the weather facing door, presently single glazed and lets out the warmth almost as if it isn't there. Admittedly it is not as bad since the draft excluder was repaired and a lined curtain was hung over it. But this does not cure the fact that there is condensation and you have to dry it regularly and remove the mould growing on the wood periodically.

So long as the surveyor measured the space correctly and the team installs it properly I have no problem with it. There's a wooden roof type item attached to the frame - as if anyone is going to stand talking to callers at a back door down a narrow cut when you can knock at the front door more more easily ...................

Oh I'm looking forward to the new door so long as everything goes well. The boss of the firm sounds such a nice guy and the surveyor appeared to know what he was doing. But the test of knowing is in the installation in this case.

I've promised to listen to the budget and make intelligent comments on it on Wednesday! Am I likely to understand it? Probably. Do I want to do it? Well I usually do anyway. Will anyone be better off? No - the government will raid our pockets one way or another again. If petrol goes up, public transport will be affected just as much as your car will suffer. I don't drive so I need buses. If the price of wine goes up some of the local cafes will put up their prices to cover it and I will not be able to go out to eat so often (no treats). And so it goes on - the law of unintended consequences.

Meantime the government is having one of its silly fits. It has thought up the idea of vouchers to help with the heating bills for those in fuel poverty. That's fine if you top up a card that goes into your meter. You can pass the voucher over as you pay you cash. If you are one of the few people who still pay by cash that's fine - you can hand over your voucher. It's no help if you are poor but have a bank account that allows you to pay bills by direct debit. So the amount of cash could be paid into your bank account. But if the government is trying to stop people spending this money on anything but your fuel bill, well you can bet that they won't want to do this. If the money is paid direct to your supplier does this affect the rate that you pay? Will the price go up because of the extra paper work. Oh and if I want to chance supplier to get a cheaper rate?

Typical government foul up coming? OK - rant over. I just felt like pointing out the stupidity of our elected representatives.

I've always been keen on knitting and over the years have become quite proficient with Aran Knitting. But the children and grandchildren have all grown up and it's no longer fashionable to wear woollens for the over 2 year olds anyway.

Having got the income back to something like stable, it seems like time to look again at knitting for myself. I remember having a totally super Icelandic style sweater with one of the fancy yokes - ones like this. Yes that's a terrific price isn't it - more than my weekly income though but it's absolutely brilliant. So I'm tracking down circular needles, knitting patterns and suitable wool for the next winter project in the dark days between mid-November and end of February when nothing can be done on a Northumbrian allotment.

If I can't track down something at a price I can save up for, then I shall return to the Aran styles and get myself back on the needles for me. Needless to say (sorry about the bad joke oh reader), I gave away all my knitting gear as part of the downsizing when I moved from my last abode as there was only limited space within the van that my son could afford to hire to get me shifted in a very short time.  But that is another story completely for another day.

The trees were safely planted yesterday. I went down for just after 10am to find that the delivery had arrived early as the gaffer was needed to mind the nursery as his wife was off sick. No problem - at least with the family all working I could settle down and plant out with no diversions. Well - none till Don came round for a gossip on his way home from allotment over the bottom hedge.

Apparently the two sparrow hawks are causing havoc with the racing pigeons on the allotments by picking them off as soon as lofts are opened to allow the pigeons a period of exercise. So that is four unhappy allotment holders who have lofts on the allotments around me. I may well have added to the woes by observing that Reynard the urban fox has visited my allotment in the last seven days. One of the other allotment holders had observed that this pair of sparrow hawks had been hunting locally when he dropped by a couple of weeks back. Don says that the wild rabbits are also out in force. Ho hum - good thing that we have plenty of netting from last year then.

Don was highly amused when I said that we had forgotten to sing happy birthday to the allotment last Saturday then he realised that we had really been there a whole year.

Apparently there was a certain amount of friction between the neighbours living over the road and allotment holders - something to do with parking of cars but not those of the allotment holders. We were warned when we first went on but there has been no problems since so I am sure that everyone appreciates the outbreak of peace (or the cessation of hostilities or whatever). Oh well - except for the lady wife of the bus company boss whose firm parks up at the end of the road. Anyone who blocks her access along the road - be it dustbin wagons or delivery wagons or us turning into the allotment to put the car on the hard standing or people not turning into their own drives to offload the shopping - gets the sharp end of her tongue. And a very sharp tongue it is too. The trouble is that really it is only a one way street in width although there is no such traffic management scheme in force.

The allotment soil was beginning to dry nicely till there were a couple of damp nights followed by severely frosty ones so we are some days backwards as regards actually getting down to the planting of new crops.

The daughter and I went into the nursery on Saturday and put my name on the tags for five fruit trees. We've chosen a Kidmans Red for eating - the daughter's mothers day present to me, a cooking apple (can't remember the brand but it wasn't a bramley), a Victoria plum, an eating pear (a Beurre Hardy) and a little crab apple because I fancy making crab apple jam. They are all said to be self fertile so no problem with having the right sort of friend to help them along. At least that helps - any gardeners out there remember the old days of "well if you have one of those you need two of its friends from the same family group to get fruit?" and having to work with either a good reference book or a very knowledgeable gardener?

Son-in-law went down to the wood yard locally this morning and picked up some stakes for the trees. I would have liked something a bit stronger but I can find some secondary supports from the woodpile to back them up. As he paid I wasn't going to object - I've spotted a couple of things that I can use from elsewhere so no problem. He's also bought a couple of big strong stakes for creating supports for the strawberries - man's job knocking those in.

The trees are being delivered tomorrow morning but the family will all be at work so I shall be planting them by myself. It's actually possible but will be a bit strenuous. I was going to dig some holes today but along came a big sleet shower so I came home. Did I hear you all say "What a wimp"? Yes of course I am unless it's absolutely must stay out and do the job.